se hace camino al andar, or through the roof

Recently I've found myself completely amazed by the stories of the saints, not only because of the things they did, but because of the amazing diversity of their responses to God's call in their lives. As C.S. Lewis wrote, "How monotonously alike all the great tyrants and conquerors have been: how gloriously different are the saints!"

Each of them responded to the same call, but from Joseph, who was rather the strong, silent type, to Joan of Arc, peasant girl and warrior, to Gianna Beretta Molla, physician, avid skier, and mother of four who gave her life for her child, each response was entirely unique. This reminds me that on the one hand, no matter what my struggles are, I can turn to the stories and writings of the saints for inspiration - they have been in the same place as me and remained faithful to the Lord. On the other hand, no matter how much inspiration I may draw from these saints, the path that I will walk in life is uniquely mine.

Caminante, son tus huellas
el camino, y nada más;
caminante, no hay camino,
se hace camino al andar.
Al andar se hace camino,
y al volver la vista atrás
se ve la senda que nunca
se ha de volver a pisar.
Caminante, no hay camino,
sino estelas en la mar.
~Antonio Machado

Wanderer, it is your tracks
which are the road, and nothing else.
Wanderer, there is no road,
walking makes the road.
By walking, the road is made,
and when glancing back
you contemplate the trail
which you will trample no more.
Wanderer, there is no road,
only the wakes on the sea.

~Translation: Roger Lapointe
lapointerlep@videotron.ca

No one has ever walked this road to holiness. My own footsteps alone will make the path. It is not that I am without a guide; Christ himself is my way, but no one has gone this way before, and I do not now where my path will lead. In this is the beauty and majesty of God: that the same Lord who said "I am the way, the truth, and the life" has a love so wide and so deep that it encompasses a unique path for each one of us. Some are called from the top of a tree, others are dropped through the roof. I am called from where I am now to walk with the Lord. With Him as my companion, I do not need to look so hard for the trail ahead to see where it will lead. He will guide me down the path that he has for me, and upon looking back, I will find that the path he led me down was the best one for me. I pray only that the Lord will help me walk this path to holiness with joy.

meditations on tofu and the single life

I love tofu. I'm a vegetarian, but even before I became a vegetarian, I loved to eat tofu. That's not to say I don't like meat. There are some days when I think I would give anything for those good ol' Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets or a pork-filled tamale. But I don't.

I occasionally have arguments with a vegan friend of mine regarding the merits of fake meat. He says seitan "pork" or whatever else is good for when he's craving meat. I say, it's just not good enough. When I sink my teeth into a juicy piece of seitan chicken, all I can think is how it's like meat... only not quite.

When I eat, I don't want to think about how this is almost like something I love eating. I want to truly enjoy my food for what it is. Living as a single woman is the same way for me. I can't seek a relationship that's almost like love. I can't seek a man that's kind of like the one that God has for me.

It's tough. When my roommate's sitting at the table eating her salmon, sometimes my tofu or lentils just don't seem quite satisfying, but I'm not going to settle for just the best imitation of meat that I can find. I need food that's enjoyable in and of itself.

I've wondered what it is in our situations that made the difference between my feelings on fake meat and my friend's. The truth is, I don't know if I'll always be a vegetarian. I don't need to settle for the closest imitation of meat I can get, because I feel that there's still a chance that I may decide to have the real thing at some point.

Perhaps in the same way, it's the hope I have in finding the right man for me that allows me to enjoy the single life. I don't enjoy it as a substitute for marriage. I don't enjoy it as making do with what I have. I cherish each minute of it, because I know that I won't live this way forever. By God's grace, I have come a long way from where I was a year ago, and so, despite all my cravings for a relationship, I
enjoy my life now exactly for what it is. I love being single.