housing headaches

Sometimes I read things like, you know, the story of Job in the Bible, or the Lord of the Rings, or some other story where someone is facing difficulties and shows great strength. I remark on the beauty of the story, the beauty of character that the person showed during their trials. I think about how I want to be like that. I have so much faith no matter what goes wrong in life, God has a bigger plan and will use it for his glory. Then something goes wrong and I realize what a wimp I really am.

My apartment lease ends in 20 days, and I have no idea where I'm going to live after that. One of my roommates-to-be is going in to surgery in 5 days, so if we don't find a place by then, we're definitely in trouble. I know I shouldn't worry. I know that we are doing all we can, and we need to trust God to pull us through the rest. I know that at the very worst, we'll find a place that we don't really like a lot, but it will still be a roof over our heads - is that really so bad? But somehow, this knowledge can't keep the tension from my shoulders. This can't keep my thoughts from drifting back to my worries when I should be concentrating on my work.

In the midst of all of this, I am reminded that there are bigger things to worry about. I have other responsibilites to attend to, and other people in my life whose needs should never be neglected simply because I am worried about my own. I am reminded of Joseph, who left his home at a rather inopportune time, because it was his responsibility. When he was looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem, was he thinking, "Oh no, where am I going to sleep? Will it be uncomfortable?" No, he was thinking only of Mary and Jesus, of making Mary comfortable and of the important event that was soon to take place - the birth of Jesus. God has, in a way, put me in the same place. I don't know where I'll be sleeping in 20 days. But He has also called me to pay closer attention to the needs of others. They have work to do, and I need to make that easier, not harder, for them to accomplish. I have been placing too much emphasis on my own fears and worries, and it was caused me to neglect the presence of Jesus in my midst.